Allow me to explain. For a variety of reasons, it's extremely difficult for me to park my car anywhere within half a mile of my school without being ticketed and/or towed. Because of this, I've resorted to parking in an out-of-the-way little parking lot behind a small shopping center, which is across the street and a little bit down the road from my school. It was sometime in the afternoon, and I was returning to my car from a rehearsal for the school play. As I waited at the streetlight to cross the aforementioned street, I noticed that there was a blue pogo stick leaning against an electrical box on the other side of the street.
'Sup.
Intrigued, I hurried over to examine it. Ye Gods, I thought to myself. A lonesome little pogo stick, abandoned and yearning for a new home! I must give it shelter posthaste! (Yes, I actually think in that voice. Shut up.) I picked it up and began using it as an impromptu walking stick, and I can't even begin to describe how happy it made me. I was preparing to simply walk away with the thing when I started having doubts. Why is this just sitting here? Is it like a trap? Am I being recorded? Maybe the police planted this pogo stick as a ruse to catch any would be pogo thieves!
This is what you get for your thievery, you little bastard!
I called up a friend (we'll just say his name is Javier, for the sake of anonymity) and described my moral dilemma to him.
"I mean, maybe somebody left it here, you know? If I don't take it, someone else will, and then I won't have a pogo stick!"
"That's a pretty tough call," Javier stated.
I continued. "What if somebody just left it here for 5 minutes? I mean, I don't wanna accidentally steal it if the person will be back for it, but on the other hand...it's a pogo stick man! I can't just leave it here!"
"What would you even do with a pogo stick?" He asked.
"Pfft, I have no idea. I'll learn how to pogo or something!"
"I don't think thats a verb-"
"Shut up."
Javier was apparently in his car at the time and was about to drive right by the intersection where I was situated. Since he was in a hurry, he couldn't exactly stop and talk, so I kept a lookout for his car. I figured I could show it to him as he passed by and he could better evaluate the situation.
While Javier and I deliberated on the phone, a woman with a rather frightening collection of teeth in her mouth ran up to me. "Hey, that's mine!" she exclaimed. She made a quick grab for the pogo stick, which I somewhat reluctantly relinquished. She began hurriedly speaking to me. "Hey, thanks man."
"Yeah, no worries. Why did you leave a pogo stick here?"
"Oh, I was jumping on it while dressed as the statue of liberty!"
".....What?"
At that precise moment, a tall black man arrived, dressed as the statue of liberty and carrying a large sign. He stood at the street corner and began dancing excitedly while twirling the sign. "My coworker," she stated rather matter-of-factly. I finally realized that she was one of those God-awful mascots who stands on the corner while twirling a sign and making you feel absolutely awful for them. I awkwardly excused myself and began walking towards my car. Javier was apparently still on the phone and had overheard everything. "I just drove by and saw that entire exchange."
"Dude, I have no idea what just happened, I'm gonna go home and mourn the loss of my pogo stick."
Which is exactly what I did.
POGO! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO, POGO?!
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