Making Fun Of Handicapped People (Is Not The Best Idea)

So it was me, Javier (who appeared in a previous post), and another friend who we'll call Boston. We were hanging out together, painting the town red with our mild-mannered suburban antics and raising Hell for absolutely nobody in particular. In the midst of all this chaotic rule-following, we decided to take a break and made a brief sojourn to a nearby Mcdonald's to fuel our rampant law-abiding ways. Upon entering, we noticed that there was an old wheelchair-bound man wearing camouflage and watching a wall-mounted TV, as well as a couple friends from our school eating in one of the booths. We ordered our food, took a seat and began conversing.

Boston had recently broken his wrist from slipping on a patch of ice fighting a rabid grizzly bear in the frigid winter mountains, and was having some difficulties maneuvering his food. I gave him some lighthearted ribbing for it, which instigated a brief dialogue between myself and Javier.

"You shouldn't make fun of cripples, Johann."

Boston chimed in. "Yeah, it's not my fault I can't hold a burger."

At this point, Javier mentioned a mutual friend of ours, who we'll call Stitch. "You know who would make fun of cripples? Stitch. We were hanging out with Gradie* and Stitch was being such a jerk to him."

Author's note: Gradie is a friend of mine with some sort of physical handicap. I have no idea exactly what it is; I think it's some sort of neural disorder or something, but I've never really listened to him explain it never mind, it's cerebral palsy. He's a nice guy.

Javier's comment made me curious. "What did Stitch say?"

Javier began to explain. "He was looking right at Gradie and he said 'you know, if I could build my own house, I would install an escalator at the front entrance and watch all the crippled people fall down it.' Gradie just looked at him and flipped him off."

We laughed uproariously, mostly because our collective sense of humor is rather obscene. I excitedly exclaimed "Oh my God, it's like that old man GIF I found during English class that one time!"

Boston asked "What old man GIF?"

"Oh, me and Stitch were in a computer lab for English class sometime last year. I Googled 'funny old people' and found a GIF of this guy falling down an escalator."

Being the high school boys we are, we began discussing all sorts of horrible contraptions that could be used to make handicapped people miserable. It was the carefree, ultra-offensive sort of conversation that only a teenager could ever really appreciate. While Javier was sharing a particularly tasteless tale involving suffering handicapped people, the old man in camouflage quietly rolled by us in his wheelchair.

An old man who, now that we got a good look at him, was missing his left foot.

Boston and I slowly turned our heads towards Javier, who had been the one talking while the old man rolled by. Javier got really quiet, cast his gaze down towards the table, and muttered "I feel awful." Being the good friend I am, I comforted him by saying "Yeah...you really should."